Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#324. Hard jeans

November 30, 1998

BEN: What are you WEARING?!
JOHNNY: Lee's Hard Jean's. I broke down and got a pair.

BEN: In God's name, WHY?
JOHNNY: I saw so many of the commercials! After the FIFTH one, I... I couldn't HELP myself.

BEN: Johnny, if there were commercials to jump off a BRIDGE, would you do THAT too?

JOHNNY: Hmm, DEPENDS... is Daisy FUENTES in these commercials?

0 views Like

#325. Greek week

December 1, 1998

JOHNNY: Greetings, all! Today on "Johnny" we celebrate "Greek Week"! We've got tons of GYROS and SOUVLAKI sandwiches, lots of FETA CHEESE, and we're ready to rock!

JOHNNY: So, let's... uh-huh, yeah.... OOOOH... THAT Greek.
FRATMAN: Psst psst

JOHNNY: WELL... what the HELL do I do with all this BAKLAVA?
FRATMAN: Sorry, folks, we'll be back tomorrow with our regularly scheduled Trent jokes.

0 views Like

#326. Remember to mail the phone bill

December 2, 1998

JOHNNY: All right, GOT TO MAIL THE PHONE BILL! Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill...

JOHNNY: Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill...

JOHNNY: Phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone bill, phone- HEY, LOOK, CANDY!

JOHNNY: Candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy, candy...

0 views Like

#327. Ordering food

December 3, 1998

BARRISTA: Next, please.
JOHNNY: Yes, I'd like an iced mocha latte with extra chocolate.

JOHNNY: Oh, and NO COFFEE.

BARRISTA: But that's... that's just CHOCOLATE MILK.

JOHNNY: Well, WHARTEVER, I don't know all your "lingo"... also give me a portabello sandwich, hold the mushroom, extra ground beef.
BARRISTA: A... a hamburger?

0 views Like

#328. Happy Thanksgiving

December 4, 1998

BEN: Here at "Johnny", we wish you all a happy Thanksgiving.
JOHNNY: What a great American TRADITION!

JOHNNY: At MY house, we have a family tradition where the youngest child dresses like a TURKEY and runs around outside letting the neighbors pelt him with ROTTEN FRUIT FRUIT. WHAT FUN!

BEN: Are you the youngest, I assume?
JOHNNY: Yes, how'd you know?

BEN: Wild guess.
JOHNNY: "STOP! That one hit my eye," I'd say. "NO! HA HA!" they'd say....

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon