Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Mo the Bat

61 comics feature this characterNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 21 #107. The “if-only”s

May 1, 1997

NARRATOR: The "if-only"s....
JOHNNY: If only I'd been MORE mediocre.
WILLIAM: If only I was a more interesting character than my computer...
STU: Oh, sir....

BEN: If only we'd featured my Nan poster more...
JEN: If only this strip had ONE reoccurring female character.
LABEL: Ben's girlfriend. Was in one strip.
MO: If only we had opposable thumbs...
LABEL: Well-placed table.
FRATMAN: If only I'd thrown parties with lots of Eighties and techno music, awkward dancing and cases of Milwaukee's Best.... Oh, wait.

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Popularity rank 22 #105. End of semester mailbag

April 29, 1997

JOHNNY: Well, it's the end of the semester, and we're getting a little reflective over here at Johnny headquarters.

JOHNNY: Yes, it's that time of the year where we get out the mailbags full of all the reader responses we got this semester. Ben?

Ben pours out two envelopes. Johnny does a take.

JOHNNY: Is this IT?
BEN: We threw out all the ones written in blood...
MO: Either of you know this gay guy from Harvard?

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Popularity rank 23 #94. Chapel bells

April 14, 1997

MO: Play some Zeppelin in there, for Christ's sake!

SOUND: DING DONG DING DONG

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Popularity rank 24 #91. Humans would just dissappear

April 9, 1997

NICK: Look at all this TRASH! Sometimes I wish all these freakin' HUMANS would just DISAPPEAR!

A pause.

MO: Then who would deliver us pizza?

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Popularity rank 25 #81. Existential crisis

March 26, 1997

MO: Don't you ever just get the idea that you're IT? I mean, I can't really justify the existence of OTHER minds.

MO: How can I be SURE anybody besides me is THINKING? I CAN'T, really.

NICK: Have you been watching "Singled Out" again?

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