Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Jordan's Jersey

14 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#245. Arrest

April 6, 1998

NARRATOR: Attention: pivotal plot point!
JACQUES: Action!
MO: I stole Jordan's jersey.
COP: Freeze, McLeod!

COP: You're under arrest for the THEFT of Michael Jordan's jersey....
MO: WHAT? I'm not REALLY McLeod, and you're not a real COP!
LABEL: Small pig!
SOUND: clink

COP: I'm with the ANIMAL POLICE, and please don't comment on my SPECIES, I realize the irony....
JACQUES: Bonjour!
MO: Nick, help!
NARRATOR: STAY TUNED!

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#246. Learning to drive stick

April 7, 1998

NARRATOR: Meanwhile...
BEN: All right, now learning to drive stick is easy...

BEN: Now push the clutch and go into first, and pull out.
JOHNNY: Which one is first? This one?

SOUND: CRASH vroom

JOHNNY: My FIRST guess would be no.

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#247. Hitting a car

April 8, 1998

JOHNNY: Is this the airbag?
BEN: No, just some balloon animals I had in the glove compartment.

BEN: You banged up that car PRETTY good. Sign sez it was the basketball coach's spot.

JOHNNY: WHAT?!

BEN: Some guy's coming over here, some little Polish guy, MAN, he is cussing like a SAILOR...
JOHNNY: Ben. GET... IN... THE CAR.

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#248. Hit-and-run on Coach K’s car

April 9, 1998

BEN: Well, we just committed a hit-and-run on Coach K's car.
JOHNNY: Yup.

BEN: Where're we headed?
JOHNNY: I dunno. How far's Cuba?
BEN: I dunno.

A pause.

BEN: On the up side, you seem to have learned how to drive stick OK.
JOHNNY: Yeah, it's amazing what a little adrenaline and a misdemeanor will do....

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#249. Nick and Mo in jail

April 10, 1998

MO: This makes no sense, I am not Roshown McLeod.
COP: Whatever, Roshown.

MO: Look. You recognize that I'm a BAT, right?
COP: ... yes...

MO: And Roshown McLeod is HUMAN, right?
COP: ...OK...

MO: So how can I be MCLEOD?
COP: We'll let the JUDGE decide that, ROSHOWN. And quit with that "mean face".

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