Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Storyline

Disney Buys Johnny

13 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#401. Tearing Johnny apart

April 13, 1999

JOHNNY: Look at me! This Disney thing is tearing me APART!
LABEL: Disney-issued "Big Fat Gloves"

JOHNNY: My friend's have been FIRED, our comic strip CHEAPENED, I don't have a GIRLFRIEND...
LABEL: Disney-issued plump bluebirds

FAKE BEN: Johnny, you didn't HAVE a girlfriend.
JOHNNY: I know. I was just on a ROLL. Do these gloves give you a RASH?
LABEL: Disney-issued aesthetically pleasing roommate.

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#402. New STU

April 14, 1999

JOHNNY: STU! YOU haven't changed! At least YOU'RE still here to provide your smart yet naive spin on things!

STU: No, Johnny. They replaced my artificial intelligence with various Disney greeting card programs.

JOHNNY: So you can't say ANYTHING funny or quaint?!

STU: Not unless it involves the words: "Mulan", "Simba", or "Happy Anniversary", no...
JOHNNY: No, how could THAT ever be funny?
LABEL: Hey kids, it's ironic. Or IS it?

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#403. Fratman and Sorority Girl get ABC show

April 15, 1999

JOHNNY: Fratman, Sorority Girl. I can't imagine Disney thinks YOU'RE PC.
LABEL: Mickey overalls, yowza!

FRATMAN: Johnny, the management LOVES us! Our parents went to school with them. We ARE leaving though.

FRATMAN: They've asked us to host a new show on ABC. It's a cross between a home video show and a college drama.

FRATMAN: "America's Funniest Hook-ups"!
SORORITY GIRL: I'm also hosting a nature show called "When Charge Cards Attack"!

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#404. Wish it would go away

April 16, 1999

JOHNNY: This Disney stuff is CRAP! It's ruined my strip! I WISH IT'D ALL JUST GO AWAY!

SOUND: WOOSH

A pause

JOHNNY: And I wish I had a million dollars.

A pause

JOHNNY: Damn.

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#405. Meet God

April 19, 1999

JOHNNY: So... WHAT? It's just ME, now? Just ME? All ALONE? Well, SORRY! NO deal!

JOHNNY: I'm LEAVING! You hear me? I'm OUT! Whoever's in charge up there, you don't have JOHNNY WILLIAMS to kick around anymore!

GOD: Johnny, this is God. Quit yer bitchin'!

JOHNNY: Well. GOD certainly has developed a potty mouth...
GOD: Shut up, moron, I can hear your thoughts too!

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