Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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#9. Plan for Monique

December 3, 1993

JAVON: If that's how you're going to act in front of Monique, we're going to HAVE to have a plan.
JOHNNY: Yeah, I guess you're right.

JAVON: Okay! So, I have a great plan! You know how we're in the library in English next week?
JOHNNY: Yea...

JAVON: Bobby could change the computer list to get Monique working on it first, THEN I could rig the computers so it won't work right, THEN you rush in to help her, strike up a conversation and end up looking great in front of Monique.

JOHNNY: This is a full-fledged "caper" if I've ever heard one. You've been watching Scooby-Doo reruns again, haven't you?
JAVON: Well, TBS DID have a marathon last week...

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#8. Talking to Monique

December 2, 1993

JAVON: So you like Monique, so big deal, talk to her or something...
JOHNNY: Talk to her? Just ad-lib? No way, I need to have a plan, play it cool and....
MONIQUE: Johnny?

JOHNNY: Yes? ... OH MONIQUE! WELL, HA, HA, UH, HELLO! HA, HA, SO, UH, HA, HA, UH....
MONIQUE: Ah, yes, hello. I was wondering if I could borrow your grammar book, is that OK?

JOHNNY: BOOKS?!? OH, SURE, HA, I MEAN I GOT BOOKS, HA, JUST WHAT THE, HA, DOCTOR ORDERED, HA!
MONIQUE: Oh, wonderful! Thank you, Johnny. Goodbye then

JOHNNY: SO MONIQUE, HA, HOW ABOUT THOSE METS? HA, UH....
JAVON: Way to play it cool, Johnny. Johnny?

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#7. Meet Monique

December 1, 1993

ENGLISH TEACHER: Class, I just want to introduce a new member of the class, Monique, who just transferred over from Belgium.

ENGLISH TEACHER: MR. WILLIAMS! For once could you please direct your attention to the FRONT of the class!

JOHNNY: Sir, I...!!! Da..... wa.... gi... girl..... go..... good....

JAVON: Sir, may Johnny go to the clinic, his hormones just exploded.
JOHNNY: Oo... da... uh...

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#6. Hopes

November 15, 1993

The All NEW (Fat and Cholesterol Free) Adventures of

Johnny, the Mediocre Sophomore

ENGLISH TEACHER: Alright, let's talk about what the author was saying... Anyone?

ENGLISH TEACHER: He talks about hopes, let's talk about hopes. Anyone have hopes? Anyone?

ENGLISH TEACHER: Johnny, how about you?
JOHNNY: Well, let's see...

JOHNNY: I HOPE that after four straight years of chicken patty and french fry lunches, my arteries don't start to flow grease instead of blood, but, huh, you know, call me a dreamer...

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#5. Juggling for my grade

November 1, 1993

The All NEW (Served With a Nice White Wine Sauce) Adventures of

Johnny, the Mediocre Sophomore

ENGLISH TEACHER: Alright Johnny, I believe you're presentation is next, let's go!
JOHNNY: Yes, sir...

JOHNNY: Instead of an oral report, sir, I'm going to juggle for my grade! Ha!

ENGLISH TEACHER: No.
JOHNNY: No?
ENGLISH TEACHER: NO.

ENGLISH TEACHER: NEXT!
JOHNNY: Some teachers are so strict...

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