Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 4 of College

Spring '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#257. Email server’s down

April 22, 1998

JOHNNY: Oooh! E-mail's out again!
WILLIAM: Mmm, server must be down.

JOHNNY: What's the server? That like the e-mailman?
WILLIAM: No. Not at all. It's a-

JOHNNY: Does he drive an e-truck that e-dogs bark at on his e-route?

WILLIAM: THIS is why I go to chat rooms! You DRIVE me to it!
JOHNNY: Does he get e-disgruntled and go on e-shooting sprees?

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#258. What if

April 23, 1998

JOHNNY: Buffy, would sorority chicks dig me if-
SORORITY GIRL: No.

JOHNNY: But, but what if I-
SORORITY GIRL: No.

JOHNNY: You sure?
SORORITY GIRL: Yup, yup. Pretty sure.

JOHNNY: DAmn.
SORORITY GIRL: Well, you win some, you lose more... I'm gonna go get a smoothie.

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#259. Smelll of philosophy major

April 24, 1998

STU: Hmm... what's that smell?
SOUND: sniff sniff

STU: Coffee, nicotine, intellectualism, and bull droppings.
SOUND: sniff sniff

A pause.

STU: I guess Ben finally declared that philosophy major...
SOUND: sniff sniff

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#260. Left early

April 27, 1998

BEN: I KNOW you have exams! I wish you'd've remembered that this MORNING!

WILLIAM: Ben, what's up?
BEN: No, you will not HITCH back! We'll come get you. Oh, hold on...

BEN: Johnny went to Myrtle a week and a half early.

WILLIAM: I knew his switch to the Chinese calendar would cause trouble.
BEN: No, there's no such thing as a "leap week".

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#261. Monday Monday columnists revealed

April 28, 1998

JOHNNY: Hey look, they got personal ads in the Chronicle...

AD: Tall, gangly, "unique" looking AEPi seeks replacement for his weary, weary right hand. Enjoys playing dress-up, stealing Billy Madison, Chris Rock jokes, writing "humor" column, and bestiality. All genders accepted. Call Keith
AD: Short, weasel-y lookin' AEPi with admittedly small "stature" and questionable hair seeks someone. Anyone. Please. Help me. Turn-ons include black trenchcoats, sunglasses, being called "Master" and TOSSing SALAD. Call Jason

BEN: Hey, when are your two exams?
JOHNNY: I told you! They're MONDAY, MONDAY!

BEN: That when we find out about that ANONYMOUS HUMOR COLUMN?
JOHNNY: The Chronicle has a HUMOR column?

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