Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 4 of College

Spring '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#247. Hitting a car

April 8, 1998

JOHNNY: Is this the airbag?
BEN: No, just some balloon animals I had in the glove compartment.

BEN: You banged up that car PRETTY good. Sign sez it was the basketball coach's spot.

JOHNNY: WHAT?!

BEN: Some guy's coming over here, some little Polish guy, MAN, he is cussing like a SAILOR...
JOHNNY: Ben. GET... IN... THE CAR.

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#248. Hit-and-run on Coach K’s car

April 9, 1998

BEN: Well, we just committed a hit-and-run on Coach K's car.
JOHNNY: Yup.

BEN: Where're we headed?
JOHNNY: I dunno. How far's Cuba?
BEN: I dunno.

A pause.

BEN: On the up side, you seem to have learned how to drive stick OK.
JOHNNY: Yeah, it's amazing what a little adrenaline and a misdemeanor will do....

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#249. Nick and Mo in jail

April 10, 1998

MO: This makes no sense, I am not Roshown McLeod.
COP: Whatever, Roshown.

MO: Look. You recognize that I'm a BAT, right?
COP: ... yes...

MO: And Roshown McLeod is HUMAN, right?
COP: ...OK...

MO: So how can I be MCLEOD?
COP: We'll let the JUDGE decide that, ROSHOWN. And quit with that "mean face".

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#250. Tape in car

April 13, 1998

JOHNNY: Hey, there's something stuck here.
BEN: Didja know Roshown McLeod was arrested?

JOHNNY: Looks like a video tape.
BEN: They say he stole Jordan's jersey.

JOHNNY: The label says "Roshown McLeod".
BEN: Coach K sez he had a video tape that proves Ro innocent, but some kids drove off with it.

JOHNNY: If only this could somehow HELP us.
BEN: McLeod's picture is AWFUL. He looks like a... a BAT....

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#251. Coach K eats lunch

April 14, 1998

NARRATOR: Coach K sits down for lunch.
KRZYZEWSKI: I've got to find those kids who hit my car.

NICK: I know where we could find 'em, coach!
KRZYZEWSKI: WHAT!? You're a... where?

NICK: Honey's! Think about it, when you're on the lam, you want BREAKFAST FOOD!
KRZYZEWSKI: Dear GOD! You're right!

KRZYZEWSKI: You know, you look a lot like WOJO.
NICK: Yeah, I get that a lot.

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