Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

The College Comics

8 semesters 378 comics

#47. Meet Mo again

January 29, 1997

MO: Greetings riend, I am Guillermo Antonio Microchiroptera, but you, dear Chronicle patrons, you may call me "MO"...
LABEL: A bat.

MO: I reside up here in the chapel tower and will be joining you occasionally in this "strip" to, ah, partake in various hi-jinks and insert some of my witty comments.

NARRATOR: The narrator would like to note that the term "witty" is entirely relative.

MO: Hi-jinks aside, I will occasionally take time out to kick a little narrator ass...
NARRATOR: I'm just not a fan of dry humor, that's a... HEY! Pu.. put me DOWN! Hey! I have my right! I...

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#48. One tent left

January 30, 1997

POLICE OFFICER: There's still a light on in that tent!

POLICE OFFFICER: Hey guys, the game's over! We won, no more tent checks! Trajan Landgon has been promoted to diety!
TENT PEOPLE: We know!

POLICE OFFICER: Don't you wanna get out of this TINY little tent and back to your dorm where you have some SPACE?

TENT PEOPLE: Not really, we live in TRENT.
FRESHMAN: Yeah, and I live in Randolph, same difference.

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#49. You need to get involved

February 2, 1997

BEN: Look at you. You spend all your free time sitting around here watching T.V. You need to get INVOLVED.
NOTE: Mitch in Wonderland!

BEN: When you're out of college looking for a job, they're gonna want people who had extra curriculars, people who were in CLUBS.
NOTE: Every Monday! Down there

JOHNNY: I DO THINGS. I did that thing with all those people just the other day.
NOTE: Collect them all!!!!!

BEN: YOU RODE A BUS, Johnny!
JOHNNY: ...and I pulled the cord! We all give back in our own special way!

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#50. The Social Elite Club

February 3, 1997

JOHNNY: You know, BEN, I don't see YOU frequenting too many ice cream socials, it's not like you're a big "clubber" yourself...

JOHNNY: I, ON THE CONTRARY, am on my way to a meeting right now...
BEN: Oh REALLY? What club?

JOHNNY: The S.E.C. (Social Elite Club), anyone who's ANYONE is in the S.E.C. They decide what's "in" and "out"....
BEN: And WHAT, pray tell, is on the agenda tonight?

SOCIAL ELITE CLUB PRESIDENT: ...our guest speaker tonight will discuss the potential for an ANTI- anti-Hootie backlash, and we'll also hand out a sign-up sheet to volunteer at "The Gap" this weekend...

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#51. Social Elite Club meeting

February 4, 1997

BEN: I cannot BELIEVE you talked me into coming to this Social Elite Club meeting.

JOHNNY: Hi, my friend here would like to join S.E.C.
SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: Great! We'll just run a quick test to see if he's eligible.

SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: How many flannels do you own?
BEN: Oh, like 5.
SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: Have you watched "Friends" recently?
BEN: Yeah.
SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: Are you happy with life?
BEN: No.
SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: Do you own any corduroy pants?
BEN: Yes.

SOCIAL ELITE CLUB MEMBER: All right, everything checks out, here's your I.D., some "alien" sunglasses, and a "Pearl Jam" CD, welcome to S.E.C.
BEN: This is surreal....
JOHNNY: Wait'll you learn the handshake....

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