Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#299. Space suits

October 26, 1998

FRATMAN: SEE? You can go outside in these suits!
JOHNNY: But you can't GROOVE in these, man.
SIGN: Mars

BEN: Look, I can't smoke with this helmet on....
FRATMAN: NO, BEN! You'll inhale toxic gases!
SOUND: wooooosh

FRATMAN: Your body can't handle the... deadly... Martian... air. Wow.
SOUND: click

BEN: Look, I've been training my lungs for this my whole life. 'Sides, it's got a filter.
JOHNNY: Hey, you CAN do the ROBOT pretty well! "Intergalactic planetary"...

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#300. Freshmen on Mars

October 27, 1998

JOHNNY: How are the partygoers taking to the off-planet scene?
FRATMAN: Well, let's ask one...

JOHNNY: How do you like Mars?
FRESHMAN: It's an AWESOME club, real big. I wanna see other Franklin Street spots. And I hear Raleigh's over there in Orion's Belt.

JOHNNY: He really thinks this is Chapel Hill (chuckle).
FRATMAN: Ah, FRESHMEN, they're so CUTE at this age.

FRATMAN: Do you want some Aristocrat, little guy?
FRESHMAN: COOL! I live in GA... , uh, mean... in SPE, or something.

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#301. Ever been to an alcohol-free party?

October 28, 1998

FRATMAN: So, what do you guys think about off-planet parties?
SOUND: beep boop

JOHNNY: Well, it all seem like a bit MUCH. I mean, "East-West-Mars via Central"? NASA mixers? DJ XDOLE? All this JUST to have alcohol at parties?

FRATMAN: Johnny... have you ever been to an alcohol-free party?
JOHNNY: Y-yes... I... we....

JOHNNY: Oh God, we played YAHTZEE, Fratman! HELP US!
FRATMAN: There, there. Have another Beast lite...

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#302. Greekist

October 29, 1998

BEN: Fratman, I've heard rumors you're "Greekist".
FRATMAN: What do you mean?

BEN: "Greekist", you know, biased against those not in frats and sororities.

FRATMAN: That's RIDICULOUS! Some of my best FRIENDS are independents!
JOHNNY: YEAH!

FRATMAN: And I treat them as though they're completely NORMAL!
JOHNNY: YEAH! .... hey....

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