Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#284. Cats

October 5, 1998

A pause.

A pause.

A pause.

JOHNNY: Ever seen The Birds?
BEN: No, but I saw Cats. The worst thing they'll do is start reciting T.S. Eliot.

1 view Like

#285. Which bench?

October 6, 1998

BEN: Where'd you wanna eat? THAT bench?
JOHNNY: NO! No, I made an ass of myself at their party last weekend.

BEN: OK, THAT bench.
JOHNNY: NO, I rushed there freshman year.It'd be weird vibes.

BEN: FINE! THAT one.
JOHNNY: Well, I don't support their stance on "The Matrix". Plus they play too much Dave Matthews, I...

BEN: Then pick a nondenominational bench!
JOHNNY: NOW, what kind of statement would THAT make?

1 view Like

#286. Church

October 7, 1998

NICK: What're ya doing?
MO: Listening to the humans down there.

MO: They congregate once every week. It's like clockwork.
NICK: What do they talk about?
LABEL: Thee Chapel

MO: Well, LESSEE, fathers, sons, ghosts, wine and bread, sheep, and, OH YEAH, crucifixion.

NICK: Sounds like some bizarre FAMILY REUNION.
MO: ...and they seem to be really into new wave ORGAN music.

1 view Like

#287. Bible

October 8, 1998

NICK: What's that?
MO: It's called "Ho-lee Bih-bull". There's tons of 'em down there. It might help us find out what they're doin'.

NICK: Well, what's it say?
MO: "In the beginning God created the heaven and the Earth."

NICK: The whole shebang, huh? Who's this "God" fella? Some sort of engineer?

MO: Is this fiction or nonfiction? There's no book jacket?
NICK: I just don't see the cosmos coming outta those kids in TEER...

1 view Like

#288. Jesus Christ

October 9, 1998

MO: Hi, is this the Chapel? Who's this "God" person in yer bible?
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: WHOA! Don't get SNIPPY, just tell me who yer "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: Look, SETTLE DOWN, buddy! I just want to know who this "God" is!
CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ.

MO: I feel like asking "who's on first?"
CHAPEL PERSON: Is this a prank? Is this the Pope again?

1 view Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon