Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#274. Jen’s bio lab job

September 21, 1998

JEN: Hey Johnny. Is Ben in?
JOHNNY: Nope. What's with the lab coat.

JEN: I'm working in a bio lab this semester.
JOHNNY: Doin' what?

JEN: Chopping the heads off of mice.

JOHNNY: Science boldly marches on.
JEN: Yeah, if you have any money in mice futures, SELL.

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#275. What’s the purpose of research?

September 22, 1998

JEN: Doctor Robson, why are we doing this research?
ROBSON: You mean, how much GRANT MONEY do we get?

JEN: No, like what PURPOSE is all this?
ROBSON: Like which AWARDS have we won?

JEN: NO! NO! Why?! What theory are we proving?! Which disease are we curing? Why?!

ROBSON: Um... do you want free pens from drug companies?
JEN: NO! I... are they blue ink?

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#276. No scientific purpose

September 23, 1998

JEN: So this WHOLE lab has NO scientific purpose?
ROBSON: Well, not so much... at all, really.

JEN: What do you tell the people who fund you?
ROBSON: OH, I just make up something about PHYSICS. They always buy it.

JEN: But you're a ZOOLOGY professor!
ROBSON: Am I? Well. I should get that letterhead changed.

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#277. Making a living

September 24, 1998

ROBSON: Oh, Jen, you have to understand. We scientists aren't the idealized "free thinkers" we're made out to be!

ROBSON: OK, NO, I'm not "advancing SCIENCE" at all, but I make a good LIVING! And besides, SOME scientists are still discovering things, right?

ROBSON: RIGHT?! Look, ask Dr. Swaminarayan?

ROBSON: YOUR group has a purpose, right, Shri?
SWAMINARAYAN: Nah, we've been coasting since the space program pooped out. Free pen?

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#278. Tough decision

September 25, 1998

JEN: So this job COMPLETELY undermines my faith in science, but at the same time, it'll look GREAT on med. school applications.

BEN: I know it's tough, honey, but it's time to take a guy check and decide which is more important: your MORALS or med. school.
JEN: I know, I know.

A pause.

JEN: WELL, med. school it is!
BEN: That's my little soulless capitalist...

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