Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 6 of College

Fall '98

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#289. Dominion over all animals

October 12, 1998

MO: Mmm...
NICK: What?

MO: WELL, sez in here that humans have "dominion over" all animals.

NICK: HUMANS have more power than US?
MO: That's what it sez.

NICK: But WE'RE the ones who get to walk around NAKED!
MO: That's what I'M sayin'. You know, this WHOLE BOOK is sorta PREACHY.

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#290. Paradise in Edens

October 13, 1998

MO: SO, humans used to live in this perfect garden paradise in Edens.
NICK: Edens, huh? You would think Main West.

MO: Then some snake told 'em to eat fruit, and God got all pissed and made all the humans all cranky.

NICK: TALKING ANIMALS? That's a little ABSURD.
MO: SEE, I thought you were SUPPOSED to eat fruit. This "God" seems to support scurvy.

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#291. Aerobics

October 14, 1998

NICK: Still musing about those people down there in the Chapel?
MO: NOPE, I figured 'em out.

MO: THINK ABOUT IT! They come sit, stand, and kneel in unison, break for a carbo boost of bread and wine, lift those heavy books!

MO: Don't you see?

MO: They're doin' LOW-IMPACT AEROBICS!
NICK: So there's SPANDEX under all those dress clothes.

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#292. Girl horny

October 15, 1998

JEN: This movie's getting me kinda horny.
BEN: WELL, you don't mean "for real horny", just, you know, "girl horny".

BEN: !

JEN: EXCUSE ME?!
BEN: Hehehe...

BEN: Mouth, could you PLEASE run things by brain BEFORE you say them?!

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#293. Argument

October 16, 1998

JEN: Are you saying girls don't get horny?
BEN: NO! No. Just, you know, to a lesser extent.
LABEL: The "apples and oranges" hand signal

JEN: Oh, WHATever!
BEN: C'MON! Just look at TV.

BEN: There's Cinemax, Playboy, thousands of pay-per-view porn channels, all devoted to HORNY guys. And girls, girls have... they have...

BEN: ...Lifetime.
JEN: HEY, "Sisters" gets pretty SAUCY sometimes, BELIEVE YOU ME!

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