Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 3 of College

Fall '97

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#181. Turn down Matchbox 20

November 25, 1997

BEN: Will you TURN DOWN that MATCHBOOK 30 crap!
JOHNNY: Oh, COME OFF IT, Ben...

JOHNNY: You CLAIM to dislike my music 'cuz it's "SIMPLE" and "REPETITIVE", but why don't you just admit the REAL reason you hate it?!

BEN: Which is WHAT?!

JOHNNY: Well, now, Ben, that's a fair question, and it seems my little BLUFF has been CALLED...
BEN: Another 5 min. of my life... WASTED!

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#182. Your music is mindless

November 26, 1997

BEN: So you ADMIT your music is SIMPLE, even MINDLESS!
JOHNNY: Yeah. Sometime's simple's GOOD.

BEN: But the songs you listen to all use the SAME 3 CHORDS! How can you STAND it!??

JOHNNY: I dunno.

JOHNNY: Maybe they're my FAVORITE three chords.

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#183. Challenged by your music

November 27, 1997

BEN: Don't you want to be CHALLENGED by your music, though? Don't you want to be STIMULATED?

JOHNNY: Sure. SOMEtimes, but sometimes I just want something to hum while my rice is cooking.

BEN: But what if your "RICE" never stops "COOKING", Johnny?

JOHNNY: Ben, this is what's known as PUSHING a metaphor?
BEN: And what if it's WILD rice?

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#184. Poop jokes are funny

November 28, 1997

JOHNNY: Certain things are just LIKABLE, Ben. It's human NATURE. ATTRACTIVE PEOPLE are easy to look at. POOP JOKES are always funny. And POP MUSIC SOUNDS GOOD!

BEN: Yeah, but what you're FORGETTING is-

BEN: Heh, heh, heh. Huh, huh, huh....

BEN: Poop IS funny.

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#185. Roommates do the strip

December 1, 1997

NARRATOR: In honor of Porter's birthday, we, his roommates, would like to give him the day off and show you what it's like to be the Chronicle's only daily cartoonist.
LABEL: Porter!

NARRATOR: 11:00 am: Porter searches his soul for the charming wit and scything humor that permeate every cartoon.
PORTER: Mmm... Skinimax

NARRATOR: 3:00 pm: Porter fights off hordes of appreciative fans.
FAN: More lemurs!
FAN: I read the cartoon today.
FAN: I didn't get today's cartoon.
FAN: Where's Mitch?
BAG ON HEAD: I am not Porter Mason

NARRATOR: 2:00 am: Porter churns out the final product...
JOHNNY: And then Voltaire says...
NOTE: Drawn by: Nupe age 19, Matt age 20
NOTE: Happy b-day P-Love!

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