Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 3 of College

Fall '97

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#176. Parking

November 18, 1997

WILLAM: I dunno, Ben, maybe you parked in GUAM.
BEN: NO! It was IN the ocean.
SOUND: press press

DYING STUDENT: ... 8 weeks late to semi-formal... can't find car... water... WATER ........

WILLIAM: Sorry, I, I just finished my MR. PIBB, I... sorry.
SOUND: press press
DYING STUDENT: Moan...

WILLIAM: Are those VULTURES up there?
BEN: WHY, God, did you create SO #@&$@* many 4-door sedans!

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#177. No more TV

November 19, 1997

JOHNNY: Augh! This show is so pointless! All it does is take up a half hour of my time!

JOHNNY: Well that's it! No more mindless time-wasting! NO MORE TV!
SOUND: PUSH!

A pause.

JOHNNY: Except for this one particularly boring half hour block...
TV: Ross! That's a power drill not a toothbrush!

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#178. If you wish upon a star

November 20, 1997

JOHNNY: Hmm. If you wish upon a star...

JOHNNY: Sometimes I wonder how for generations we've put so much faith into what basically are DISTANT BAGS OF HOT GAS.

JOHNNY: Then, for some reason, I start thinking about POLITICIANS...

JOHNNY: After that, I ususally drink cocoa and watch "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" till I feel better....

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#179. Covert lemurs

November 21, 1997

MO: Sure are a lot of STRAY CATS around here...
NICK: Those aren't cats.

MO: Oh, REALLY? What are they then?
NICK: Covert lemurs who escaped from "THE BIG HOUSE".

MO: "The BIG HOUSE"?
NICK: The PRIMATE CENTER'S not all FUN AND GAMES, Mo. And the walls have ears, the WALLS HAVE EARS...

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