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Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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Character

Ben

154 comics feature this characterNewest firstMost popularOldest first

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Popularity rank 41 #181. Turn down Matchbox 20

November 25, 1997

BEN: Will you TURN DOWN that MATCHBOOK 30 crap!
JOHNNY: Oh, COME OFF IT, Ben...
JOHNNY: You CLAIM to dislike my music 'cuz it's "SIMPLE" and "REPETITIVE", but why don't you just admit the REAL reason you hate it?!
BEN: Which is WHAT?!
JOHNNY: Well, now, Ben, that's a fair question, and it seems my little BLUFF has been CALLED...
BEN: Another 5 min. of my life... WASTED!

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Popularity rank 42 #176. Parking

November 18, 1997

WILLAM: I dunno, Ben, maybe you parked in GUAM.
BEN: NO! It was IN the ocean.
SOUND: press press
DYING STUDENT: ... 8 weeks late to semi-formal... can't find car... water... WATER ........
WILLIAM: Sorry, I, I just finished my MR. PIBB, I... sorry.
SOUND: press press
DYING STUDENT: Moan...
WILLIAM: Are those VULTURES up there?
BEN: WHY, God, did you create SO #@&$@* many 4-door sedans!

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Popularity rank 43 #175. Going abroad

November 17, 1997

JOHNNY: So THEN I can take that Bio class in the FALL...
BEN: I thought you were gonna be ABROAD in the Fall.
JOHNNY: BEN, if I'm a GUY now, why would I be a BROAD in the Fall? DUH.
A pause.
BEN: Wow. I... WOW.
JOHNNY: THINK about what you're saying once in a while, will ya? SHEESH....

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 44 #174. Abstract studying

November 14, 1997

Pause.
Pause.
Pause.
BEN: How's the studying going?
JOHNNY: OK. These concepts are so ABSTRACT, though.

1 view ♥Like

Popularity rank 45 #171. Odd couple

November 11, 1997

BEN: Good luck on biochem. BYE. OK, sweetie. OK. BYE.
JOHNNY: You and Jen are so DIFFERENT. I don't know how you get along.
BEN: I dunno, she's everything I want, she's everything I'm not. She the scientist, I the artist. And TOGETHER we're RIGHT.
NOTE: * Ben Folds Five
BEN: I'm form to her function. We're truth and beauty. I'm the script and she's the stage directions.
NARRATOR: 7 hours and 2,520 metaphors later...
BEN: We're Turner & Hooch! Dharma & Greg! Tony Maseli & Angela!
JOHNNY: Ben, I'm gonna miss my 9:10...

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Most popular comics…

  • 1 NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate.
BEN: Jen! What's the symbol for "radius" of a circle?

    Bob the pirate

    1 2 Aug 15, ’99

  • 2 TV: Yes, Jeff, I am here live at the official rollout of the alpha version of Office 2000, codename Poughkeepsie...

    MSNBC

    1 2 Nov 8, ’96

  • 3 JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

    No big commitments

    0 3 Feb 10, ’99

  • 4 JOHNNY: Greetings, readers! Shalom and welcome to the exciting world of "Johnny"! I'm the main character of the strip, Jonathan G. Williams. You may remember me from my earlier work in the Chronicle, such as "Guy Watching TV" or "Guy at the Airport"...

    Welcome

    0 3 Jan 15, ’97

  • 5 JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them.

    First step to getting girls

    0 2 Mar 25, ’99

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The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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Johnny the Mediocre Human

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