Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Topic

Comics about movies

10 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #284. Cats

October 5, 1998

A pause.

A pause.

A pause.

JOHNNY: Ever seen The Birds?
BEN: No, but I saw Cats. The worst thing they'll do is start reciting T.S. Eliot.

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Popularity rank 2 #283. Credits

October 2, 1998

BEN: WE MADE IT! We're at Ryan's door, this wretched journey is over.
JOHNNY: I now realize the horror of war and stuff.

BEN: Ryan?
MATT DAMON: Yes?
BEN: Congratulations, you're out of orgo, son.
MATT DAMON: Oh! COOL, thanks.

CREDITS: "Johnny and Ben Save Private Ryan" - A Porter Mason Film. Cast - Captain Miller: Ben Romero; Private Reiben: John Williams; Private Ryan: Matt Damon; Pika Bench: Pika Bench. Best Boy Grip - Monica Lewinsky. Lighting - God. Lead Singer of Weezer - Rivers Cuomo.

BEN: "COOL, THANKS"?! That's IT?! In a weird, abstract way I almost DIED for you, MAN!!
JOHNNY: I bet that Damon won't come to the cast party, either. Pretty boy...

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Popularity rank 3 #282. Ben’s hit

October 1, 1998

BEN: Before the war started, I was a T.A., but in Wannamaker, everyone thinks that's STRANGE, I-

BEN: AAA! I've been HIT! They got me, man! Tell my kids I LOVED 'EM!

JOHNNY: Ben... Ben, that was just a PAINTBALL, you're FINE.

BEN: NO! NO! LOOK! There's the WOUND!
JOHNNY: That's your NIPPLE, you TOOL. Now get up... and you don't have any DAMN kids either....

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Popularity rank 4 #281. Worst thing about war

September 30, 1998

BEN: KA is looking to flank our advance, so we move our 3rd division (being you with a pointed stick) northward to "parlay their ballyhoo" (meaning "poke them a lot")

BEN: But now, now we WAIT. Ah, this infernal WAITING! It's the worst thing about this CURSED war!

SOUND: twiddle twiddle

BEN: Well, death and destruction are a close second and third.
JOHNNY: In MY opinion, chafing's up there, too.

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Popularity rank 5 #279. Saving Ryan’s permission number

September 28, 1998

JOHNNY: WHOA! Where are YOU going?
BEN: To Wannamaker. I promised a soc. professor I'd deliver a permission number.

JOHNNY: Dammit, Ben! It's like WWII in there! Bombs exploding left and right! And I hear KA may have nuclear capability!

BEN: But if I suck up to this prof., I may get into the class, too! I could DROP MTH 103! It's my ticket out of HELL!

JOHNNY: Fine, but put this on. Say, what's this guy's name we're SAVING?
BEN: I dunno. It's marked "PRIVATE". But I think it's RYAN.

1 view Like

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