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Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

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Topic

Comics about bench burning

Often featuring…

  • Johnny
  • Ben

6 comics about this topicNewest firstMost popularOldest first

Popularity rank 1 #227. Social event of the year

March 4, 1998

SORORITY GIRL: I mean Tuesday was the social event of the year. Yeah... I know...
SORORITY GIRL: And did you see Lauren? And she was with... I know! And that skirt! What? No!
BEN: I didn't know they had a mixer Tuesday... Oh.
BEN: The bonfire.
SORORITY GIRL: I mean, please, who wears chiffon to a bench-burning...

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Popularity rank 2 #387. Day after losing 1999 NCAA championship

March 24, 1999

A pause
A pause
JOHNNY: (sigh)
NARRATOR: Congratulations men's and women's basketball. Trajan, Michelle, Nicole, Taymon, Nilary, Payton, Justin, Naz, Takisha, THANK YOU.

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Popularity rank 3 #280. Risking our lives

September 29, 1998

BEN: So what's this Ryan's story?
JOHNNY: He's signed up for orgo.
BEN: Last semester, 3 of his brothers failed orgo and transferred to UNC.
JOHNNY: His poor MOTHER!
BEN: Duke doesn't want to send another "F" home to Mrs. Ryan.
JOHNNY: We're risking our necks for ONE MAN'S (academic) LIFE!
BEN: Then we fight Nazi raptors in the temple of doom! Or the 3rd kind!
JOHNNY: No, dude, you're mixing yer Spielbergs!

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Popularity rank 4 #226. No more benches

March 3, 1998

NAN: Simpson, these bench fires are madness! Call the dorm presidents, we're confiscating ALL the damn things!
LABEL: Looky! It's a Nan head! Woo hoo!
SIMPSON: Begging your pardon, ma'am, but the students like hanging around the benches, perhaps you should provide replacements.
NAN: Yes, you're right. Replacements. FIRE-PROOF replacements. That'll be good P.R....
JOHNNY: The dorm fish tank? I... I just don't know.
BEN: Our other option was the "Dorm Large Block of Stainless Steel"...

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Popularity rank 5 #224. Didn’t get into the UNC game

February 27, 1998

BEN: Still moping about not getting into the game?
JOHNNY: We were in tent 92, Ben! Tent 91 got in!
SHIRT: I took Jordan's jersey
BEN: I know, I know, but you just have to get over it.
JOHNNY: Oh, you're probably right...
JOHNNY: Look, let's go get some Burger King...
JOHNNY: MAYBE WE'LL WAIT IN LINE FOR TWO HOURS ONLY TO FIND OUT OUR FOOR'S ALL BEEN EATEN BY #@0&* GRAD STUDENTS!

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Most popular comics…

  • 1 JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

    No big commitments

    0 3 Feb 10, ’99

  • 2 JOHNNY: Greetings, readers! Shalom and welcome to the exciting world of "Johnny"! I'm the main character of the strip, Jonathan G. Williams. You may remember me from my earlier work in the Chronicle, such as "Guy Watching TV" or "Guy at the Airport"...

    Welcome

    0 3 Jan 15, ’97

  • 3 NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate.
BEN: Jen! What's the symbol for "radius" of a circle?

    Bob the pirate

    0 2 Aug 15, ’99

  • 4 JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny?
JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them.

    First step to getting girls

    0 2 Mar 25, ’99

  • 5 FRATMAN: Buffy, I... you're just... PERFECT. From your ENCHANTED CLOGS that you superhuman fashion sense, to the aptly named, "TIGHT BLACK PANTS OF POWER"...

    Fratman and Sorority girl fall in love

    0 2 Jan 22, ’98

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

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The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

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Johnny the Mediocre Human

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