Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 5 of College

Summer '98

Jun – Aug 1998

6 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#263. Too lenient on Brad

June 1, 1998

BEN: Mom, I'm concerned you're being too lenient with Brad.
BEN'S MOM: Oh, honey, no-

BRAD: Mom, can I have some cash to go see "Exploding Dinosaur Cops from Mars" again?
BEN'S MOM: Sure, dear.

BEN: THIS is what I'm talking about, mom, these action movies, they INFLUENCE him.
BEN'S MOM: Honey, I'm SURE Bradley won't set fire to the neighbor's parakeet again.

BEN: AGAIN?
BRAD: Mom, can I have some extra for some propane?
BEN'S MOM: It only went to small claims court, dear, I didn't want to bother you with it.

1 view Like

#264. ATM

June 15, 1998

JOHNNY: JUST MAKING A VERY SAFE ATM TRANSACTION!

JOHNNY: HMM, MY PIN NUMBER, LET ME THINK!

JOHNNY: IT CERTAINLY ISN'T 3-1-2-4!

JOHNNY: You can't NEVER be too careful.

0 views Like

#265. William’s going abroad

July 1, 1998

JOHNNY: Ben! William's going abroad next semester! It's some Microsoft thing.
BEN: What?!
NOTE: Today's phrase is plot twist.

JOHNNY: It's the "Duke in Cyberspace" program. Sez he'll lose all physical form, his soul becoming a series of digital bits, blah blah BLAH. ANYWAY, looks like we got a double now.
BEN: Cool.

JOHNNY: Say, did you maybe upset him somehow?
BEN: Well, he WAS mad when he found out we used to have a MAC. Why?

JOHNNY: He refers to you here only as "The Infidel".
BEN: We were YOUNG, dammit! IBM's were expensive! Will we never live it down, God?!

1 view Like

#266. Jen and time management

July 15, 1998

JEN: Well, I am feeling MORE and more confident about this MCAT test.
JOHNNY: Great, Jen. What's your secret?

JEN: TIME MANAGEMENT, Johnny. My days are FULLY planned.
LABEL: An extremely well-used daily planner

JEN: 6 to noon I study CHEM, till 5 I study BIO, 5 to midnight I study PHYSICS, and midnight till 6 I review...

JOHNNY: What... what about sleep?
JEN: Yep, time management, Johnny... time management and intravenous caffeine...

0 views Like

#267. U.S. News rankings

August 1, 1998

JOHNNY: You can't go out? A date with WHO? Carlos from STANFORD? But we... yeah, I know about the RANKINGS, but...

JOHNNY: It's still like we're TIED for third... OK, but sixth is still ADMIRABLE... sort of. But... but, Marcy... BUT... we're still better than STATE!

JOHNNY: Hello?

JOHNNY: FREAKIN' U.S. News and FREAKIN' World Report...
STU: Your move, sir.

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon