Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 7 of College

Spring '99

69 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#360. Bold, repetitive melody

February 8, 1999

BEN: This song is INCREDIBLE, Johnny! Listen to its innovative rhythm, it's BOLD, repetitive melody! THIS is the electronic revolution!
STEREO: be lonely be lonely

BEN: THIS is the music of NOW!
JOHNNY: Ben, this is my Matchbox 20 CD. It skips right here. See how the time's not changing?
STEREO: be lonely be lonely

STEREO: be lonely be lonely -click- ... 3 AM I must be lonely...

BEN: I feel like I should sterilize my EARDRUMS...
JOHNNY: How's the weather up there on that high horse?

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#361. Valentine’s Day – Beer: A diamond is expensive

February 9, 1999

NARRATOR: This Valentine's Day, show that special someone just how special they are.

NARRATOR: And if you don't have a special someone...

NARRATOR: ... then get very, very drunk.

TITLE: Beer - A diamond is expensive

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#362. No big commitments

February 10, 1999

JOHNNY: What about you, Jay; are you dating anyone?
SOUND: push push push

JAY: Well, I've gone out a few times with this one girl. It's cool, we get along great, but it's not serious. We're just playin' it by ear. No big commitments...

JOHNNY: Mmm hmm...
SOUND: push push push

JOHNNY: So basically, you have no #?@*in' clue what's goin' on with this girl.
JAY: That's one way of phrasing it...
SOUND: push push push

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#363. The talk

February 11, 1999

JOHNNY: If you don't know what's up with this girl, have "The Talk". Show her you're comfortable with your emotions.

JAY: But I'm NOT comfortable with my emotions.

JOHNNY: What better thing to build a relationship on than a LIE?
JAY: I don't even know if I HAVE emotions!

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#364. Taking it slow

February 12, 1999

JODIE: Jay, thanks for bringing this up. As for "us", I'm not sure, maybe we should just TAKE IT SLOW for a while.
JAY: That sounds fine, Jodie. I'm...

JAY: ... just... glad... .... to... ?? .... oh .... no! .....

JAY: .... Movement .... slowed! .... Laws of physics .... not working! .... .... Time and space .... bending! .... Caught .... in .... a .... a

JAY: .... (shudder) .... RELATIONSHIP .... TIMEWARP!

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