Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 7 of College

Spring '99

69 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#345. Scheduling program

January 18, 1999

JEN: Try reducing the allotted lunch time by 15 minutes.
BEN: Whatcha got STU doin', Jen?
STU: Yes, Mrs. Sir...

JEN: I'm running a scheduling program to find the optimum usage of my time...

JEN: I've narrowed it down to the ten most efficient.

BEN: Jen, none of these have time scheduled for sleep!
JEN: Oh, no, I cut out sleep and non-exercise-based fun in the first round.

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#347. No more Brad and Andy

January 20, 1999

JOHNNY: Have you met the new neighbors in 238?
BEN: In 238? Did Brad and Andy move out?

JOHNNY: Yup. They went abroad. Jay and Winston just moved in. You know, I'll truly miss Brad and Andy, we really got to be close.

BEN: Johnny, the only 2 things you ever said to either of them were: "Can I use your microwave to make nachos?" and "Shut up, X-Files is on."
JOHNNY: And I'll cherish those moments forever.

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#348. Meet Jay

January 21, 1999

BEN: Hi.
JAY: Hey.

JAY: I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Jay. I just moved in.

BEN: You're Jay.
JAY: Yeah.

BEN: You're black.
JAY: Really? WELL. Better call home and break the news to mom...

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#349. Ben loves black people

January 22, 1999

BEN: HEY, you didn't tell me Jay was black!
JOHNNY: Didn't I? Oh. Yeah. Winston, too. So?

BEN: So? SO? So this is GREAT!! What an INCREDIBLE opportunity to widen our cultural horizons! To break out of our comfort zone!

BEN: We can learn more about African-American culture, have cool discussion about race relations...

BEN: I can break out my 19-hour media presentation on Thurgood Marshall!
JOHNNY: I have a feeling I should warn Winston and Jay about how much "fun" they're in store for.

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