Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 1 of College

Spring '97

72 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#97. STU meets Johnny

April 17, 1997

STU: Excuse me. You are sir's roommate, Johnny, yes?
JOHNNY: Hmm? Uh, yeah, I'm William's roommate.

STU: I'm STU, his Self-evolving Telecomputing Unit. Might you have the time to engage in some conversation? The D: drive is most inquisitive this morning...
JOHNNY: Uh, sure. What topic?

STU: I am fully functional in all areas of conversation.
JOHNNY: Oh. Well, then, uh....

JOHNNY: I was just wondering, double integral natural log
STU: Splendid, I was just discussing this very topic with choatique.mit.edu last week....

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#98. MCATs are tomorrow

April 18, 1997

JOHNNY: Nice day.
PREMED GUY: Yup.

JOHNNY: MCATs are tomorrow.
PREMED GUY: Yup.

JOHNNY: Heard you finished studying Wednesday so you'd have Thursday and today to "relax".
PREMED GUY: Yup.

JOHNNY: How's that "relaxin'" going?
PREMED GUY: NOT WELL

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#99. Feel so small

April 21, 1997

JOHNNY: Sometimes I feel so small in this world. So insignificant. So tiny.

JOHNNY: Like I'm nothing more than a grain of sand. On a giant shoreline. That's slowly eroding away.

JOHNNY: Of course, I'm speaking METAPHORICALLY.

JOHNNY: Thank you.

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#100. Johnny guest-stars in Mitch in Wonderland

April 22, 1997

MITCH: Floyd! That's no beret! That's a lemur!
DIRECTOR: CUT! That's a wrap, people!

FLOYD: Ugh! Could somebody puh-lease take this rat off my head! And get my agent on the phone!
MITCH: Hi, and welcome to a behind the scenes look at "Mitch in Wonderland".
INTERN: You robe and cigar, sir.

MITCH: You know, a lot of people think being the star of a comic strip is all fame, money and groupies. But as a socially responsible mega-star, such as Bono and Sally Struthers, I try to help out the little people along the way.

MITCH: Just ask our work-study intern Johnny here.
JOHNNY: You Volvic and beanless burrito, sir.

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#101. Mitch in Wonderland guest-stars in Johnny

April 23, 1997

SOUND: munch munch
JOHNNY: Sir, I've finished polishing you porcelain sheep collection. Could I have a talk with you?

MITCH: Well, your father should really be the one to do this but, OK. Johnny, when a man loves a woman very much, they-
JOHNNY: No, no, it's about my cartoon in the Chronicle.

MITCH: Oh yes, I often read the crosswo- er, ah, the Chronicle.
JOHNNY: GREAT! Got any suggestions?

MITCH: First off, I'd recommend you people put some cortisone on those eyes - they look a bit inflamed.
JOHNNY: Actually we store food there. Not unlike the cheek pouch of a common squirrel.

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