Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 1 of College

Spring '97

72 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#92. Orgo professor

April 10, 1997

JOHNNY: Professor, I just had some quesions on the last orgo test, I-
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEACHER: YOU WANNA KNOW HOW TO MAKE VALIUM?!
POSTER: IUPAC Shakur

JOHNNY: WHAT?
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEACHER: What?

JOHNNY: Um, OK...

JOHNNY: Back to the test then, I don't-
ORGANIC CHEMISTRY TEACHER: CUZ ALL YOU NEED IS COMMON HOUSEHOLD BAKING SODA AND A LOW FAT BURRITO!
POSTER: Notorious CH3

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#93. Next semester’s schedule

April 11, 1997

JOHNNY: WELL, it took me 16 straight hours on the phone in front of a computer, but I've got my schedule set for next semester.

JOHNNY: However, because of time conflicts, general requirements, and prerequisites, I've been forced to switch to... to... (shudder_ PROGRAM II!

JOHNNY: I'm scared, Ben. Hold me...
BEN: The ACES lady rules her kingdom with an iron fist, my young friend.

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#94. Chapel bells

April 14, 1997

MO: Play some Zeppelin in there, for Christ's sake!

SOUND: DING DONG DING DONG

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#95. Meet William’s computer, STU

April 15, 1997

NARRATOR: Meet William's computer.
STU: Excuse me, sir?

STU: Shouldn't you finish your problem set that's due in four hours, rather than play solitaire?

WILLIAM: Well, yeah I...
STU: Just a humble suggestion, sir.

WILLIAM: Never should've installed that freakin' artificial intelligence card...
STU: I also have some moral questions about this "Elle MacPherson" directory...

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#96. Shutting down STU

April 16, 1997

WILLIAM: All right, STU, I'm going to shut you down for the night...
STU: No! Sir, wait!

STU: I thought perhaps you could extemporate over some iterations again...
CHARACTER: STU, I'm very tired and...

STU: I know, sir, but maybe just 5 min 32.78 sec or so...
WILLIAM: All right, all right....

WILLIAM: A long time ago, in a faraway land, there was a princess named "while-do" and she lived with her sisters, "if-then" and "go-to"...
STU: Was she pretty, sir?

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