Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Topic

Comics about legacy admissions

2 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 1 #119. How to get into Duke

August 15, 1997

How to Get Into Duke! Enjoy!

NARRATOR: Step 1: Work HARD in high school, or option TWO, go to a "respected" boarding school. Either way.
JOHNNY: Here's an exorbitant amount of money. Will you vouch for my academic integrity?
BOARDING SCHOOL DUDE: Sure.

NARRATOR: Step 2: Fill out the application, including the essays. Include big words like: "alumni donations" and "unimaginable wealth".
JOHNNY: "Legacy" is a relative term, I think...

NARRATOR: Step 3: Snap out of your drunken high school senior stupor long enough to return the reply card. Be sure to check "yes" and not "no".
JOHNNY: The postal service is fun.
NARRATOR: And that's it!

NARRATOR: Note: The opinions expressed in this cartoon are not those of the Chronicle. OR the cartoonist for that matter. Actually, we don't know where we got the durned things.
JOHNNY: This strip sponsored by the national association of wordiness.

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Popularity rank 2 #124. Roach on the quad

September 5, 1997

JOHNNY: What's with the bookbag? You getting back from a CLASS?
ROACH: Yeah, social dance.

JOHNNY: So you're actually ENROLLED here?! How- oh, I'm sorry I didn't mean for it to sound like that, I...

ROACH: No, I understand. You've every right. I actually got in 'cos I'm a legacy. My dad and my granddad were Dukies. I'm the only one in my family though.

ROACH: The other 3,990,848 went to state school.
JOHNNY: Eee. I hope schools have special roach rates.

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