Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Comics about art

12 comics about this topicNewest first Most popular Oldest first

Popularity rank 6 #217. Johnny the art critic is a fraud

February 18, 1998

TEACHER: Sir, I need an opinion on a piece, it's-
JOHNNY: Oh, I LIKE it, blindingly off-tempo.

TEACHER: WHAT? NO, no, the piece is in my OFFICE, this is just the COMICS section, I- WAIT!

TEACHER: No art critic would EVER stoop so low as to even ACKNOWLEDGE a, UGH, comic strip as ART!
JOHNNY: (whistling)

TEACHER: GET OUT OF THIS OFFICE, YOU PHONY!
JOHNNY: But, I, uh, eloquently beguiled! Intensely banal! Noooo! Can I keep the pens?

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Popularity rank 7 #215. Are you tenured already?

February 16, 1998

BEN: Hey Johnny...
JOHNNY: That's DR. Williams, boys, you're looking at Duke's newest PROFESSOR OF ART HISTORY!

WILLIAM: No WAY! You're joking!
BEN: That's hilarious! Are you TENURED already, too?

JOHNNY: NO, Ben, I don't have TENURE, let's get a little serious.

JOHNNY: The paperwork for that may take a week... OO, I gotta teach a CLASS at 11:50! Which one is EAST Duke again?

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Popularity rank 8 #214. Offer to be an art history professor

February 13, 1998

TEACHER: Now, WILLIAMS, after that lecture, I know you'll be getting LOTS of offers, but consider being a professor here at DUKE, after all, we put you on the MAP!

JOHNNY: PROFESSOR!? But I'm an UNDERGRADUATE!
TEACHER: Oh, PISH POSH. How do you feel about MANET?

JOHNNY: UH... decisively convoluted.
TEACHER: THERE! There's your thesis!

JOHNNY: That's not even a SENTENCE!
TEACHER: OH, it just needs a helping verb or two, we'll get a grad student to polish it...

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Popularity rank 9 #212. Speak at an art critics’ convention

February 11, 1998

TEACHER: Williams, are you FREE Thursday night? I'd like you to speak at an ART CRITICS' convention.

JOHNNY: SIR, aren't I a little YOUNG? INEXPERIENCED?
TEACHER: Oh, SURE, but you're HOT, Williams! YOUR insight is the TALK of the DEPARTMENT! It's just SO... SO...

JOHNNY: Fruitfully RHYTHMIC?
TEACHER: YES! Yes. Oh, your words just DESTROY me.

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Popularity rank 10 #211. Gonna be an art history major

February 10, 1998

JOHNNY: WILLIAM! I have an INCREDIBLE power! By simply pairing a random ADVERB and a random ADJECTIVE, I candescribe ANY piece of art!

JOHNNY: So get the ACES lady on line 3, William, I'm gonna be an ART HISTORY major!

WILLIAM: I can't do that, Johnny.
JOHNNY: DAMMIT all to hell, William! Can't you support my dreams ONCE!? Just ONCE?! You selfish BASTARD!

JOHNNY: WHEN, God?! WHEN will I be free to LIVE my LIFE?! WHE-e-en?!
WILLIAM: I... I just meant we don't HAVE a line 3... ...is all I meant.

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