Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 2 of College

Summer '97

12 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#114. Perfect opportunity

July 2, 1997

JOHNNY: The woman of your dreams is sitting 3-feet away from you.
SOUND: crumble

JOHNNY: You've waited for an opportunity to talk to her, to meet her. And now....

JOHNNY: Now is a perfect time to, to just, to....

CO-WORKER: Lunch break!
JOHNNY: ... GO EAT LUNCH!

0 views Like

#115. Mo hits on a bird

July 15, 1997

MO: Hey baby, how 'bout you come over sometime and we RUFFLE SOME FEATHERS?
BIRD: Get lost, jerk.

MO: Hey, what's the big problem? Is it the breath? I knew I ate too many cicadas...
BIRD: Look, I'm a BIRD, you're a bat. It wouldn't work.

MO: OH! So it's a SPECIES thing! And I thought this was the 90's!

0 views Like

#116. Play it casual

July 16, 1997

JOHNNY: Maybe the best thing to do is just not even let on I notice she's there, play it casual, play it-

Johnny peeks out of his cubicle.

JOHNNY: 1:45pm - Subject walks to water fountain. 1:47pm - Subject drinks water for 4.7 seconds. .5 more than normal.

JOHNNY: -cool, not let her get to me, not even pay the slightest attention....

0 views Like

#117. Financial aid

August 1, 1997

JOHNNY: Here's that form from the bursar's office stating that I have and never will watch "Nick at Night" for a period of over two hours....

FINANCIAL AID LADY: Well, the financial aid office thanks you for your cooperation. Now let me just file this away.
SOUND: rrrrip

FINANCIAL AID LADY: Now, take THIS form, run thirty yards east, and, using only the powers of mime, get it signed by 27 people, named "Ralph".

JOHNNY: Is the plan here just to break my spirit....
FINANCIAL AID LADY: No, no, that's phase 3. We're just in phase 1, "Whirlwind Confusion".

0 views Like

#118. Sprucing up apartment

August 2, 1997

JOHNNY: Well. This apartment could sure use some sprucing up, perchance some rearranging.

JOHNNY: Lessee... what could we change? AH!

Johnny moves a table slightly.

JOHNNY: Well that just opens up all kinds of new space!

0 views Like

Keep reading

Most popular comics…

Porter Mason holding up his book Cute Animals for Flawed People, The Complete Roonie the Rabbit, Book 1

My other comic, in print

Cute Animals for Flawed People

Roonie the Rabbit is the comic strip I'm drawing these days, and this is its first book: 301 comics about all your little emotional vulnerabilities.

The Roonie the Rabbit cast in a row

Also by Porter Mason

Roonie the Rabbit on Patreon

Join free to get all my latest comics by email, or for $5 a month get exclusive comics and every new comic a week early.

Join the Patreon