Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

The High School Comics

29 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#21. Class elections

April 15, 1994

The All NEW (Sometimes Lost in the Shuffle) Adventures of

Johnny, the Mediocre Rising Junior

JOHNNY: Class election time, again....

JOHNNY: I don't mind the posters, though, or the banners, or even the inane attempts at stand-up comedy they call "speeches". What I really hate...

Johnny attacked by buttons.

JOHNNY: .....are the @#?$! buttons.

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#22. Upset about relationship

May 1, 1994

JOHNNY: Look, I'm upset about where this WHOLE relationship is going...

JOHNNY: I GIVE and I GIVE and I GIVE, and what do I get back out? NOTHING.

JOHNNY: If I don't act EXACTLY like what you want, you won't open up to me AT ALL! Frankly, I'm fed up.

JAVON: Locker problems?
JOHNNY: Leave me alone, besides, this isn't my LOCKER, we're just FRIENDS...

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#23. New CD

May 15, 1994

The All NEW (Rolls on Clear with No Flaking) Adventures of

John, the Senior with His Own Parking Spot

JOHNNY: I just bought the new "Blue Midafternoon" CD! I bet I'm gonna LOVE it!

JOHNNY: Since it's release, its songs have SATURATED countless radio and T.V. stations! Something this popular has GOT to be good!

Johnny presses play and does a take.

JOHNNY: I'm going to have to REALLY work hard to get like this...
JAVON: I wouldn't sweat it. Took me three years with Nirvana...

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#24. Talk with dad

June 1, 1994

DAD: Son, you free to have a little talk?
JOHNNY: Sure, dad. What's up?

DAD: Son, you have a tough choice ahead of you. It's the sort of thing that will affect the rest of your life...

DAD: ...and your mother and I want you to know that no matter what choice you make, we'll be right there behind you. All right, kiddo?

JOHNNY: Dad, at this point are we talking about sex, drugs, or college?

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#25. How to write a research paper

September 1, 1994

Hey Kids! This Month: An Exciting Instructional Cartoon Entitled: "How to Write a Research Paper!" Starring

Johnny!

NARRATOR: Step 1: Picking a Topic. This can be accomplished with the help of a teacher or librarian, or you can try to come up with one on your own.
ENGLISH TEACHER: Im afriad, John, that O.J. Simpson is just not considered a contemporary American writer.
JOHNNY: Shoot, man.
LABEL: Johnny's lovable new catchphrase.
Johnny holds a book, "I Want to Tell You".

NARRATOR: Step 2: Research. Libraries can yield a wealth of information, but in our modern times, be careful not to overlook other media.
VIDEO PALACE EMPLOYEE: I don't believe any Langston Hughes books have been made into movies, sir.
JOHNNY: Check on Jack Kerouac...

NARRATOR: Step 3: Take a Deep Breath. On to Step 4: Formulating a Thesis. Run your thesis by your teacher before you begin to write!
JOHNNY: From reading the various writings of contemporary writer Langston Hughes, one may or may not assume that through his writings Hughes was able to write in such a manner that one could infer the writer writing the writings was contemporary writer Langston Hughes.

NARRATOR: Step 5: The Finished Product!
ENGLISH TEACHER: These are just blank pages!
JOHNNY: Oh really? Dang faulty printer...
EXTRA: Punctuation Corner: How many colons are in this cartoon? Answer: 8

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