Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Johnny the Mediocre Human

Comics from Duke in the '90s

Semester 3 of College

Fall '97

71 comicsFrom the beginning Most popular

#141. Housing problems in Hell

September 30, 1997

BEN: So, what's been the biggest PROBLEM with this whole "hell" thing?
GREG: Housing.

GREG: Now that we're HELL, we have to put up everyone who's been naughty since the DAWN OF TIME. It's a tight squeeze.

GREG: Right now, I'm stuck in an octuple with a Spanish warlord, Lizzie Borden, 4 of Ali Baba's 40 thieves, and the inventor of B.O.

JOHNNY: STILL. Beats Trent.
GREG: Yeah, STILL beats Trent.

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#142. How was Hell?

October 1, 1997

WILLIAM: SO, how was hell?
JOHNNY: All RIGHT, no good Chinese food, though.
SOUND: sniff sniff
LABEL: Ben!

WILLIAM: Is Chapel Hill all better now? Did you conveniently resolve the plotline?
BEN: Uh, NO. It's STILL hell.
SOUND: jingle jingle

WILLIAM: DUDE! We ALWAYS resolve plots in 5 days!
BEN: Well, I'm SO sorry. Johnny wanted Chinese. What's been going on here?
SOUND: condescend condescend

WILLIAM: Not much. They ended racism. And the frats decided to stop giving out beer. Nothing BIG though.
JOHNNY: MMM. Gen. Tsao's...
NOTE: No sound effect this panel

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#143. Can you take a message?

October 2, 1997

SOUND: Rrring click
JOHNNY: Hello?
PHONE: Is Ben there?
JOHNNY: Nope.
PHONE: Can you take a message, then?
JOHNNY: Nope.

PHONE: Why not?
JOHNNY: Got no arms.
PHONE: How're you holding the PHONE then?
JOHNNY: Through an elaborate pulley system.

PHONE: OH. Well. Bye, uh, then.
JOHNNY: Mm-hmm.
SOUND: click

JOHNNY: Some things CANNOT be disturbed, and the afternoon nap's one of 'em.
SOUND: toss

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#144. Soap smells good, but you can’t eat it

October 3, 1997

JOHNNY: You know, soap SMELLS really good, but you can't EAT it.

JOHNNY: Which sucks 'cos I bet those suds would go great with hummus...

A pause.

BEN: I think weirdness-wise, he just lapped us.

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#145. We have to let go more

October 6, 1997

MO: We have to let GO more, Nick. Take chances. Live freer.
NOTE: Today's Topic:

NICK: MO! DON'T LET GO!
NOTE: Bold letters indicate an elevated volume of speech.
MO: Why not?
NOTE: Physical humor, funny or no?

MO: SEE? I feel lighter already. And it suddenly smells better, too.
NOTE: Our answer: a rousing yes!

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