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Wordplay

A topic in 5 comics.

Bob the pirate

Aug 15, 1999

NARRATOR: A character I never got to introduce: Bob the Pirate. BEN: Jen! What's the symbol for "radius" of a circle? JEN: I dunno dear... Hey! Let's ask Bob the Pirate! JEN: Bob the Pirate, what's the symbol for radius? BOB THE PIRATE: Aaaar! JEN: Really? What's the 18th letter of the alphabet? Conjugate "to be" for "they". What's the 1st person plural possessive pronoun? BOB THE PIRATE: Aaar! Aaar! Aaar! NARRATOR: Man. He could've added so much to the strip. (sigh) We'll miss ya, Bob...

Foil

Mar 22, 1999

BEN: Johnny, if this were all a big play, I think you'd be my FOIL. JOHNNY: So, you'd use me to wrap up SANDWICHES? A pause BEN: WHAT... why... were you ELECTROCUTED as a child? Like more than once? JOHNNY: No. But my mom says I used to eat a lot of caterpillars.

Jesus Christ

Oct 9, 1998

MO: Hi, is this the Chapel? Who's this "God" person in yer bible? CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ. MO: WHOA! Don't get SNIPPY, just tell me who yer "God" is! CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ. MO: Look, SETTLE DOWN, buddy! I just want to know who this "God" is! CHAPEL PERSON: Jesus Christ. MO: I feel like asking "who's on first?" CHAPEL PERSON: Is this a prank? Is this the Pope again?

Going abroad

Nov 17, 1997

JOHNNY: So THEN I can take that Bio class in the FALL... BEN: I thought you were gonna be ABROAD in the Fall. JOHNNY: BEN, if I'm a GUY now, why would I be a BROAD in the Fall? DUH. A pause. BEN: Wow. I... WOW. JOHNNY: THINK about what you're saying once in a while, will ya? SHEESH....

Decided to run as a write-in

Mar 4, 1997

JOHNNY: These DSG ELECTIONS are pissing me off. So, I've decided to run as a write-in candidate. BEN: Impressive. What are your issues? JOHNNY: No issues. BEN: No ISSUES? You gotta have ISSUES. JOHNNY: Well, then I have one ISSUES, and it's that I have NO ISSUES. BEN: Some people may take ISSUE with that. JOHNNY: Where's my swimsuit issue?

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