Comics and posts about Sorority Girl | Johnny the Mediocre Human

Jokes about beer

GOD: It's ALL been you, Johnny. Ben, your roommate, who values nonconformity as much as you do conformity. Jen, the girl you want and everyone else seems to have. GOD: Jay, who put words to your unspoken relationship troubles. Even STU, the computer, was a manifestation of your struggles to balance innocence with knowledge. JOHNNY: So explain Fratman and Sorority Girl. GOD: Look, people just like jokes about beer and hooking up, don't over-analyze things.

Fratman and Sorority Girl get ABC show

JOHNNY: Fratman, Sorority Girl. I can't imagine Disney thinks YOU'RE PC. LABEL: Mickey overalls, yowza! FRATMAN: Johnny, the management LOVES us! Our parents went to school with them. We ARE leaving though. FRATMAN: They've asked us to host a new show on ABC. It's a cross between a home video show and a college drama. FRATMAN: "America's Funniest Hook-ups"! SORORITY GIRL: I'm also hosting a nature show called "When Charge Cards Attack"!

Staying superficial

JAY: Fratman, you and Sorority Girl seem to have a stable relationship. How do you do it? FRATMAN: The KEY, Jay, is staying SUPERFICIAL. Our relationship is based mainly on looks and social standing. FRATMAN: We never get to know each other well, so we avoid any messy personality conflicts. JAY: I guess... your shallowness... runs DEEP. FRATMAN: Deeper than the deepest keg of Beast Lite.

Stereotypes are harmful

NARRATOR: At this week's "Johnny" cast party. JOHNNY: Well, Winston, Jay, it's great to have you guys aboard. WINSTON: It's gonna be fun, Johnny. JOHNNY: You know, the last two weeks have been interesting, we've ALL learned something. Do you think there's a moral we could take from all this? WINSTON: Well, I'd say it's that, in any form, STEREOTYPES ARE HARMFUL. BEN: Ain't THAT the truth. BEN: Isn't that right, Fratman and Sorority Girl? SORORITY GIRL: Teehee! I'm shallow! FRATMAN: I'm drunk AND shallow! LABEL: Look kids! Irony!

Sorority Girl in rush mode

JOHNNY: So, Sorority Girl, how's rush? SORORITY GIRL: Hi-eee! What's YOUR name? JOHNNY: You... you KNOW my name, we're FRIENDS. SORORITY GIRL: Well, HELLO [insert name] and where are you from? JOHNNY: Sorority Girl! You're not in RUSH now! SNAP OUT OF IT! SORORITY GIRL: Oh NEAT! I heart visiting [insert city]! My parents have a summer home/winter cottage/sweatshop THERE! JOHNNY: My GOD! Someone get some smelling salts! Or a cigarette and a Diet Coke! SORORITY GIRL: Well, nice to MEET you! Hey [insert name of friend next to you], have you met [insert rushee name]? She's just a PEACH!

Duke Gap ad: Khakis whine

JOHNNY: Aaaa! I have three tests this week! And a paper. FRATMAN: Yeah? That's nothin'! I got 5 tests and 2 papers! SORORITY GIRL: 20 tests! 38 papers! 750 theses! And my PC just blew up! BEN: I have to solve the Russian economic crisis by noon! Or I fail stats! JEN: My gross anatomy final is at 9! And I have to produce corpses for the whole class! TITLE: DUKE - khakis whine.

Good luck on exams

JOHNNY: Good luck on exams and congrats seniors! BEN: Have a bourgeoisie summer. JEN: Dear LORD, honey, you don't let up with this cynicism thing, do you? FRATMAN: Sknxx az vrok sneb adwbozt! SORORITY GIRL: Some of us took a little too long of a "study break"... MO: The answers are: 1. True, 2. Conjugated dienes, 3. Dali, 4. George Bush, 5. Not unless beer money is low and you are directly propositioned.

What if

JOHNNY: Buffy, would sorority chicks dig me if- SORORITY GIRL: No. JOHNNY: But, but what if I- SORORITY GIRL: No. JOHNNY: You sure? SORORITY GIRL: Yup, yup. Pretty sure. JOHNNY: DAmn. SORORITY GIRL: Well, you win some, you lose more... I'm gonna go get a smoothie.

Social event of the year

SORORITY GIRL: I mean Tuesday was the social event of the year. Yeah... I know... SORORITY GIRL: And did you see Lauren? And she was with... I know! And that skirt! What? No! BEN: I didn't know they had a mixer Tuesday... Oh. BEN: The bonfire. SORORITY GIRL: I mean, please, who wears chiffon to a bench-burning...

Not just a meaningless hook-up

JOHNNY: So you think SORORITY GIRL may be THE ONE, huh? FRATMAN: I dunno, it's just... with MOST girls all I think about is having a MEANINGLESS HOOK-UP with them, but with BUFFY... FRATMAN: I think about having HUNDREDS of meaningless hook-ups! JOHNNY: AW...