Comics and posts about hitting on someone | Johnny the Mediocre Human

First step to getting girls

JAY: I dunno, how do get girls to like you, Johnny? JOHNNY: Oh, I have a SYSTEM. The firs step is: get to be good friends with them. A pause JOHNNY: That's pretty much IT... it's not the BEST system. JAY: NO... No, it's not.

Meeting some guy who’s not a jerk

GIRL: Oh, Johnny, I just wish I could meet some guy who's not a JERK! JOHNNY: I... I'M not a jerk. GIRL: Someone who's NICE, someone who's FUNNY. someone who's INTERESTING! JOHNNY: I'M nice! I'M funny! I'M interesting! A pause GIRL: As I was saying... WHY?! Why can't I meet someone like that? JOHNNY: If you're excuse me, I'll be over there banging my head against that wall...

Getting asked out

JULIA: My name's Julia, I wanted to introduce myself. JOHNNY: I'm, I'm Johnny. JULIA: Do you have any plans this Friday? JOHNNY: Well, I was going to watch "The Wedding Singer" by myself and eat Fritos. A pause. JOHNNY: But, you know, I, uh, I could cancel.

STU and ACES

STU: Anyone there? Johnny? Ben? Hello? SOUND: sniff sniff SOUND: sniff sniff sniff SOUND: CLICK beep boop beep beep beep beep beep... riiiiing..... riiiiiing.... SOUND: sniff PHONE: CLICK Welcome to ACES, the Duke University Automated Computer Enrollment System. During your call, you... SOUND: sniff STU: Talk dirty to me, baby....

U.S. News rankings

JOHNNY: You can't go out? A date with WHO? Carlos from STANFORD? But we... yeah, I know about the RANKINGS, but... JOHNNY: It's still like we're TIED for third... OK, but sixth is still ADMIRABLE... sort of. But... but, Marcy... BUT... we're still better than STATE! JOHNNY: Hello? JOHNNY: FREAKIN' U.S. News and FREAKIN' World Report... STU: Your move, sir.

What if

JOHNNY: Buffy, would sorority chicks dig me if- SORORITY GIRL: No. JOHNNY: But, but what if I- SORORITY GIRL: No. JOHNNY: You sure? SORORITY GIRL: Yup, yup. Pretty sure. JOHNNY: DAmn. SORORITY GIRL: Well, you win some, you lose more... I'm gonna go get a smoothie.

Looks from pretty tanktop girl

JOHNNY: Well, WELL. If my tally is correct, that's the 5TH TIME pretty tank top girl in the 3rd row has cast a look up in my direction. The game is ON, my sweet, you... JOHNNY: WAIT. A pause. JOHNNY: I hate sitting in line of sight of the freakin' CLOCK...

Can I buy you a drink?

JOHNNY: Can I... buy you a drink? GIRL: Uh, yeah, sure. JOHNNY: Ooo, I'm sorry, the correct answer was: "No, you have no money." No points for that one. JOHNNY: NOW, on to question two: will you buy ME a drink? JOHNNY: Here's a hint: the answer starts with "yes" and ends with "margarita". GIRL: Check, please.