Comics and posts about basketball | Johnny the Mediocre Human

Day after losing 1999 NCAA championship

A pause A pause JOHNNY: (sigh) NARRATOR: Congratulations men's and women's basketball. Trajan, Michelle, Nicole, Taymon, Nilary, Payton, Justin, Naz, Takisha, THANK YOU.

Celebrating basketball

BEN: Don't you have class now? JOHNNY: I'm celebrating the success of our basketball team. BEN: I thought that's why you skipped class FRIDAY. JOHNNY: That was in celebration of the WOMEN'S team, and today is for the MEN'S. BEN: I suppose tomorrow you'll be celebrating... JOHNNY: The success of our coed cross-country billiards team, yes.

Ndiaye

MO: So who was this French guy? JOHNNY: WAIT! That's just a mask! JACQUES: What're you doing? JOHNNY: Makhtar Ndiaye! NDIAYE: Yes! Hahaha! JOHNNY: Ndiaye, huh? JOHNNY: Is our strip THAT low budget? NDIAYE: HEY! Thptoo!

End of long, drawn-out storylines

JOHNNY: Man, when you're on the lam, nothin' hits the spots like BREAKFAST FOOD! BEN: You said it. KRZYZEWSKI: THERE THEY ARE!! BEN: Coach K! We're sorry about the car! KRZYZEWSKI: It's OK, let's just have that tape! KRZYZEWSKI: See officers, this surveillance tape from Cameron proves Roshown was shooting baskets at the time the jersey was stolen! COPS: You're right! LABEL: Police officers! COPS: You're free to go, Roshown! MO: I'm NOT, Roshown! JOHNNY: How convenient that both plotlines simultaneously ended! LABEL: Obviously a BAT, and not Roshown McLeod.

Coach K eats lunch

NARRATOR: Coach K sits down for lunch. KRZYZEWSKI: I've got to find those kids who hit my car. NICK: I know where we could find 'em, coach! KRZYZEWSKI: WHAT!? You're a... where? NICK: Honey's! Think about it, when you're on the lam, you want BREAKFAST FOOD! KRZYZEWSKI: Dear GOD! You're right! KRZYZEWSKI: You know, you look a lot like WOJO. NICK: Yeah, I get that a lot.

Tape in car

JOHNNY: Hey, there's something stuck here. BEN: Didja know Roshown McLeod was arrested? JOHNNY: Looks like a video tape. BEN: They say he stole Jordan's jersey. JOHNNY: The label says "Roshown McLeod". BEN: Coach K sez he had a video tape that proves Ro innocent, but some kids drove off with it. JOHNNY: If only this could somehow HELP us. BEN: McLeod's picture is AWFUL. He looks like a... a BAT....

Nick and Mo in jail

MO: This makes no sense, I am not Roshown McLeod. COP: Whatever, Roshown. MO: Look. You recognize that I'm a BAT, right? COP: ... yes... MO: And Roshown McLeod is HUMAN, right? COP: ...OK... MO: So how can I be MCLEOD? COP: We'll let the JUDGE decide that, ROSHOWN. And quit with that "mean face".

Hit-and-run on Coach K’s car

BEN: Well, we just committed a hit-and-run on Coach K's car. JOHNNY: Yup. BEN: Where're we headed? JOHNNY: I dunno. How far's Cuba? BEN: I dunno. A pause. BEN: On the up side, you seem to have learned how to drive stick OK. JOHNNY: Yeah, it's amazing what a little adrenaline and a misdemeanor will do....

Hitting a car

JOHNNY: Is this the airbag? BEN: No, just some balloon animals I had in the glove compartment. BEN: You banged up that car PRETTY good. Sign sez it was the basketball coach's spot. JOHNNY: WHAT?! BEN: Some guy's coming over here, some little Polish guy, MAN, he is cussing like a SAILOR... JOHNNY: Ben. GET... IN... THE CAR.

Arrest

NARRATOR: Attention: pivotal plot point! JACQUES: Action! MO: I stole Jordan's jersey. COP: Freeze, McLeod! COP: You're under arrest for the THEFT of Michael Jordan's jersey.... MO: WHAT? I'm not REALLY McLeod, and you're not a real COP! LABEL: Small pig! SOUND: clink COP: I'm with the ANIMAL POLICE, and please don't comment on my SPECIES, I realize the irony.... JACQUES: Bonjour! MO: Nick, help! NARRATOR: STAY TUNED!